If you live in Florida, settle in for April, because a statewide stay-at-home order came down from the Governor yesterday. The limitations the order sets forth take effect at 12:01 am tomorrow, Friday, April 3, 2020 and expire on April 30, 2020 (the exact time is apparently TBD, but I suppose it’s best not to commit to a time when the date itself is likely to change). So, if you are here:

Then you need to pull off of I-10, I-95, I-75, or I-4 (heaven help you), and park yourself here:

Executive Order 20-91, as amended by Executive Order 20-92

Here’s my hot take on the Executive Order—it’s confusing, omits valuable information, and exempts a lot of people.

Here’s an example of these problems: In the Executive Order, Section I “Safer at Home,” it says the following:

A. Senior citizens and individuals with a significant underlying medical condition… shall stay at home and take all measures to limit the risk of exposure to COVID-19.

B. In concert with the efforts of the [federal government] all persons in Florida shall limit their movements and personal interactions outside of their home to only those necessary to obtain or provide essential services or conduct essential activities.

And here are some questions this section raises that are difficult to answer, either because a logic game is required to figure them out, or there is just no guidance.

1. Who is a “senior citizen”? Someone over 60? 62 and a half? 65? 67 and a half? Our state has an extremely large population of retirees, especially since it’s “snowbird” season. So to whom does this provision apply?

2. The logic game: “not all cats are lions, but all lions are cats…” In other words, the way this Order is written makes you wonder if the essential services and/or essential activities exemptions apply to seniors and the other groups in subsection A, or, are seniors and the others in section A required to stay home (the “shall”), even if they could be performing essential services or essential activities? We shouldn’t have to draw a Venn Diagram to sort this out.

3. Another question: since the FFCRA uses the phrase “[t]he employee is subject to a Federal, State, or local quarantine or isolation order related to COVID–19” to define eligibility for paid sick time, why couldn’t the Governor say that the order is an order of “isolation” or “quarantine” so that it would be clear that the FFCRA has been triggered in that respect?

4. What will happen if people violate the Order? How would we even know if they were headed to a grocery store (permitted) or to an illicit birthday party (not permitted)?

So, we can’t be bothered to define key terms like “senior citizen,” we can’t be bothered to be clear about how the Order applies to the groups in section A, and we can’t be bothered to use terms that would definitively tell employers whether the paid leave portion of the FFCRA has been triggered…but we can be bothered to declare that people fleeing from New York City to Florida are part of the reason we have to stay at home. Cool.

Welcome to Florida. Won’t you stay awhile?***

***Staying awhile required.